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From the "Jujitsu Flavored Whoopass" Department ::
15 Year-Old Girl Kicks Some Serious Butt

Youch..., mess with this young lady and you're likely to take one between the pockets.

From the "Who's Been in the Cookie Jar" Department ::
Salvation Army a Victim of Embezzlement

The creep tried to negotiate his way out of it. Probably voted Liberal too!

Check back regularly, no telling what little nugget of gnarled knowledge or whimsical wisdom you're going to unearth here but it could be a 'Breaking News Nugget' - and you can say you saw it here first. Others will just have to wait for the rest to catch up.

Note:: These headlines rotated, updated & barbecued throughout the day. Enjoy!

Hasta La L8r Señor Headline Hunter

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From the What's That Department ::
Undersea Earthquake Shakes Indonesia

No word yet on damages.

From the Steve Harper is Canadian Department ::
Bonehead US Ambassador Rebuked

Where does this guy get off saying that Arctic sovereignty is debatable? He deserves a boot in the butt with a frozen mukluk.

From the Some of These Rockstars are Ancient Department ::
Mozart 250th Anniversary Today

And the music is still fresh - imagine that!

Check back regularly, no telling what little nugget of gnarled knowledge or whimsical wisdom you're going to unearth here but it could be a 'Breaking News Nugget' - and you can say you saw it here first. Others will just have to wait for the rest to catch up.

Note:: These headlines rotated, updated & barbecued throughout the day. Enjoy!

Hasta La L8r Señor Headline Hunter

Clean Up Dodge

Well..., it's Tuesday and the sky in Alberta is a "Conservative Blue". I don't think there was ever a doubt in any Albertan's mind. Maybe Landslide Annie had some doubts but that's all history now - to be shot down by a fighter pilot is nothing to be ashamed of though.

Steven Harper has his work cut out for him but his first priority should be to clean up "Dodge". I think Steven Harper has the brains and the will to do so and I firmly believe that he is poised to show a lot of doubters what he's made of and what he's capable of. He's young, he's smart, he's figured out Quebec and I think he deserves our support.

Give Steven Harper a chance to show what he can do for Canada and for Canadians (and that includes disgruntled Quebecois and Albertans too).

Frankly..., I'm relieved we have somebody with fibre heading up the country. It's a pleasant change to the arrogant, lying, thieving, back stabbing bunch we've put up for the better part of a decade and a half

Hasta Luego Mr. and Mississauga (OK..., so I stole it - get over it! It's not like the planet is going to quit spinning and we're all going to get flung off or something weird like that.)

Vote for Your Life

Stay tuned to your election results. This could be interesting and likely the dawn of a new age in Canadian politics. Will the paper shredders be running to capacity throughout the night? Midnight bank transfers to offshore accounts maybe? How about shadowy 'courier' type guys brown bagging currency or any number of conspiracy theories or accusations. But really, things like "Auditor General" reports can sure get the imagination working.

Remember..., if you don't vote you forfeit all complaining privledges.

It's going to be interesting to see if Steven "Hockey Historian" Harper can put one past Paul "Mother Pucker" Martin to win the "Parliamentary Cup". I sure hope there' s no overtime. The last "Minority Government" is enough overtime already.

Hasta La Luego Mr. and Mississauga (Like I said, "I stole this from some journalist that likely stole it from someone else. I like it so I'm going to use it.

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From the "Arrrgh Matey" Department ::
Mutiny on the Queen Mary 2

Black Beard not amused.

From the Fork Him He's Done Department ::
Sheila Copps Predicts "Likely Majority" for Harper

Geez Sheila, nothing like a kick to the head when a guy's on the mat.

From the See You Later Department ::
Toronto Sun Columnist Points Out Liberal Arrogance

Get these lying cheating thieving bums off the payroll and lets get on with the program!

Check back regularly, no telling what little nugget of gnarled knowledge or whimsical wisdom you're going to unearth here but it could be a 'Breaking News Nugget' - and you can say you saw it here first. Others will just have to wait for the rest to catch up.

Note:: These headlines rotated, updated & barbecued throughout the day. Enjoy!

Hasta Luego Señor Mr. and Mississauga (I like that!)

Election 2006

I have avoided covering the 2006 Election campaign on this site for a number of reasons. None of them have anything to do with Section 329 of the Canada Elections Act. It mostly has a lot to do with me being up to my eyeballs in family 'tasks', not the least of which is being evicted from my 'office' so that it can be resurrected once again as the 'spare room' for the new boarder that's been brought in to assist with the 'bills'. That may sound like a straight forward task but, believe me, it's been a grind!

With that out of the way, lets get back to "Election 2006". I'm not going to embarrass myself by offering up some kind of prediction of what's going to happen on Monday night. Canadian voters can be a fickle bunch. Couple that with the fact that our parliamentary system revolves around a "first past the pole (or is it poll?)" working model and it's nothing short of a horse race. Sensible folk don't pay much attention to horse races.

I do think the Liberal party needs to be kicked out on their collective butts and the gamblers among us believe that's going to happen. Me, not being a gambler, can only hope that's going to happen. I've lived in parts of Canada where the politics is downright weird - BC for instance - and in Central America - where politics can incite crimes of passion and there's one thing I can assure you and that's this. Corrupt politicians are not the sole domain of Third World countries. I could see early in the campaign that the Liberals were going down as there was just too much outcry over their lying thieving ways. Of course that was based entirely on overheard conversations in the heart of Alberta where the sky is a "Conservative Blue".

In any case..., I just rehash the headlines and felt certain there was little I, or any number of bloggers, could do to influence the election in any meaningful way. Maybe tomorrow some blogger out in the Maritimes will contravene Section 329 and feed election results so that us Westerners can decide if we need to get out of the house on a frosty winter evening to trudge down to the voting booth. It's something those east of Mountain Standard Time just don't quite understand.

I should point something though. I find it odd that the Liberals would choose to use the old "suicide bomber" routine in this campaign. What were they thinking? If we're going down anyhow lets take as many of them with us as we can? Paul Martin has even carried the routine to the same extreme as "Comical Ali" of "The Invasion of Iraq" fame who would get into the television cameras and proclaim that Saddam Hussein would have Americans begging for mercy from the almighty Allah. Comical Ali ignored insane odds in much the same way Paul Martin is ignoring the overwhelming odds against him. These dictatorial types seem to really be out of touch with the pulse of the populace.

Anyhow..., I have to run. Family tasks beckon!

For any of you out there that need any reasons for not voting Liberal the Toronto Sun has offered up 218 reasons. It's worth the read.

Hasta La L8r Señor Mr. and Mississauga (I stole that from some journalist who probably stole it from someone else. The shame of it all!)

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From the Holy Crap Department ::
T.O. Area Liberal Riding President Throws Support to Conservatives

That just has to throw a monkey wrench into the "Big Red Liberal Machine" gearbox. Not that it's going to make much of a difference to a machine that's already lost it's wheels.

Check back regularly, no telling what little nugget of gnarled knowledge or whimsical wisdom you're going to unearth here but it could be a 'Breaking News Nugget' - and you can say you saw it here first. Others will just have to wait for the rest to catch up.

Note:: These headlines rotated, updated & barbecued throughout the day. Enjoy!

Hasta La L8r Señor Election Fanatico

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From the Censorship Department ::
Air Farce & Mercer Banned from Using Leader's Debate News Clips

Well if that doesn't beat all! I was really looking forward to what the warped minds at CBC were going to do with this. It would have been a slaughter.

From the Poll in a Pole Hole Department ::
Conservatives Shoot Up In Quebec Poll

It's a toll poll so please throw your coins in the pole hole. If you've got foldable money why not make a contribution to an eh-political party of repute instead?

From the Humongous Paranoia Department ::
OpenBSD LiveCD for Anonymity

Here's a bootable CD based on OpenBSD for doing interbank money transfers from third world Internet Caf&ecute;s. What more could you possibly want?

From the Wow That's Fast Department ::
50 Milliseconds to Make Decision on Worthy Websites

That's some speedy eyeballs. Sure hope visitors to this site stay longer than that!

Check back regularly, no telling what little nugget of gnarled knowledge or whimsical wisdom you're going to unearth here but it could be an 'Anonymous Nugget' from an anonymous donor to an anonymous anarchist.

Note:: These headlines rotated, updated & barbecued throughout the day. Enjoy!

Hasta La Bye Bye Señor Anonymous Liberal, "Have you golfed in Mexico often?"

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From the "Knight in Shining Armour" Department ::
Paul Martin Parachutes in to Landslide Annie's Rescue

Wait a minute! I thought the captain was supposed to go down with his Canadian Steamship.

From the "Some People Get Too Much Press" Department ::
Belinda Confident She's a Shoo-in

After all it's a "first past the pole" electoral system so even if she can get the nose cone of a $2500 red Gucci™ stiletto across the finish line she wins. Trouble is it's hard to run a race in $2500 red Gucci™ stilettos.

From the "How NOT To Work the Press" Department ::
Media Backlash on Liberals

A well written piece on why the media has turned on the Liberals. Definitely worth a read.

From the "Penal Resort" Department ::
Prisoners Vote Liberal for Obvious Reasons

They don't want politicians joining their ranks and tainting their image. Keeping them in power keeps them out of the penal system. Never underestimate a clever convict.

Check back regularly, no telling what little nugget of gnarled knowledge or whimsical wisdom you're going to unearth here but it could be a 'Cow Pasture Nugget' dropped by some fleeing Liberal. Rest assured these nuggets have no value.

Note:: These headlines rotated, updated & barbecued throughout the day. Enjoy!

Hasta La Bye Bye Señor Liberal Scoundrel, "Have you lived in Mexico for long?"