The Key to a Long Life – Eat Lightly and Don’t Play in Traffic

From the “What Day Is It” Department ::

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to live a very long time? With advances in technology, I believe there are people 60 years old today that could conceivably live to a 150 or more years. Spare parts for worn out body components are no longer the stuff of science fiction. Things like the latest in exoskeleton assitance could even allow a 125-year-old person to be a productive member of the community and not have to rely on offspring or the spring off of offspring to provide some sort of monetary contribution to keep the blood pumping.

I would think the caring family of Cruz Hernandez was the biggest reason she was able to celebrate her 128th birthday yesterday. (Readily available exoskeleton equipment isn’t that easy to come by in El Salvador.) It’s somewhat ironic that El Salvador, the scene of a brutal civil war that killed tens of thousands – actually a clash between American and Cuban ideology – and the home to the most barbaric of street gangs – the Mara Salvatrucha or MS13 who kill for pleasure and not only profit – would also be home to the worlds oldest living citizen. What are the chances of that happening again anytime soon?

Anyhow…, think for a minute what it would be like to live for a very long time. I have a grandmother who is going to be 99 this summer and what keeps her going is that she still gets out and does things. She’s looking forward to her 100th birthday and that’s something else that keeps her going. If you don’t have something to look forward to then you start dying from the inside out. I could see Gram living for another 10 or more years without TOO much difficulty.

Just thinking of all the things that could kill you is enough to avoid many of the causes of cerebral atrophy. Atrophy of any body part is generally the result of inactivity. Dodging, or otherwise avoiding becoming a victim of reckless actions by yourself or others has a sizable “luck” factor involved as it relates to survivability. You could be on your way home from work, minding your own business and some idiot running a red light on his way to pick up a lottery ticket could center punch you and your sub-compact gas saver – killing you that way – or provide you with a near miss that would be enough to stop your heart – flat lining you by way of a heart attack. 36,525 days is a long time to go without screwing up or having someone else screw up on your behalf to the detriment of your further existence.

What I wonder about is what I would do to keep myself occupied for a 150 years. There’s a lot of things I would still like to accomplish but there’s a ton of obstacles that are making that exceedingly difficult. One thing I’m absolutely certain of though is that sitting around watching mindless TV is not enough stimulation to keep all parts functioning in harmony. (The only TV I watch is the Discovery Channel and the Comedy Network – even some of that is somewhat mindless.)

The only thing that’s been proven to give you a few extra years is reducing your calorie intake. There’s not going to be any fat folks in the Sesquicentennial Club. Nope, it’s going to be skinny people with bionic eyes and ears outfitted with a robust exoskeleton and a disproportionate allotment of luck that are going to make up the core membership.

Will they be the equivalent of brainiac cucarachas totally wired for survival? It’s hard to say. I just can’t imagine what reality TV is going to be like when that 60-year-old today turns 150 in another 90 years but I’ll bet that 150-year-old won’t be watching it.

Hasta La Bye-Bye Señor Youth Meister – Watch out for falling airplane parts.